Sept. 9th '05
Some pretty wonderful changes have happened since my last post. On August 26th, we moved into our house.
You can't even begin to imagine how it makes my heart feel to see my kids playing in the yard... "our yard". :D After years of waiting and hoping...we have a house... a real home.
The husband said that he would do his damnest to get us in there, but that in order for it all to work...I couldn't put off getting my license any longer. So I did it... I practiced, and made the appointment...and then took the test all in a month's time.
The kicker for me was that I actually passed. I was so sure I was gonna have to take it more than once. Call it paranoia/self-doubt whatever, I don't know.. but I really was prepared to fail and accept it and try again. Maybe it's because of that outlook, that I didn't.
I tried not to put so much pressure on myself, but there was a lot counting on it all working out so I just did it, and tried not to think so much into it.
That was on the 19th of august, and today is september 9th... and today the husband bought me my first vehicle. hehe.. sounds funny.. I'm not exactly a teenager...and this is my first vehicle.
When I was first looking at cars like 12 years ago, I had my heart set on a '76 Monte Carlo... black with red velvet interior and red running lights. lol... it's funny how times change,
because I really had my heart set on a minivan this time. :P
It's a '94 Safari XT.. it's actually just old enough to be cute and yet new enough to not be a total piece of shit. hehe I really like it... and the interior is blue...( my fav color) it looks pretty good .. and the husband says it runs really well, and it's an all wheel drive so that's cool for Minnesota. :)
Doing daycare, I needed something that I could fit our four kids ...and 3 more into for getting them to and from school each morning. I'm really excited about it, it's going to be weird not having to ask for rides or having to try to count on anyone else for getting to me where I need to be. The husband is proud of me and that makes me feel a million miles tall.
The boys started school the day after labor day, they love it. Babygirl starts headstart on Monday the 12th. The whole process of getting them to and from was quite interesting for this first week. With help from my mom and sister we made it through. They really were a big help. Beginning monday, I'll be dropping off my boys at their school, and then taking Babygirl across the street to headstart. Then I have to go home to my empty house, until the bus drops her off just after one.
Mom, my aunt and I have been having morning coffee just about every morning... I'll have to keep doing that. I don't like the idea of sitting home alone...after 9 years of motherhood ... my heart just can't handle the idea of an empty house already.
I know it's only for the two and half hours that Babygirl's in headstart, but still...
the silence in this big house is going to be an painful reminder that they're all growing up so fast.
I think that, as much as I can, I'm going to volunteer in her classroom so that she and I (...probably mostly I )...can cope a little better with this separation. I think that as soon as I know that she's gonna be ok..that I'll be able to enjoy the little bit of freedom that this will bring me, without so much anxiety. Wish me luck!
You can't even begin to imagine how it makes my heart feel to see my kids playing in the yard... "our yard". :D After years of waiting and hoping...we have a house... a real home.
The husband said that he would do his damnest to get us in there, but that in order for it all to work...I couldn't put off getting my license any longer. So I did it... I practiced, and made the appointment...and then took the test all in a month's time.
The kicker for me was that I actually passed. I was so sure I was gonna have to take it more than once. Call it paranoia/self-doubt whatever, I don't know.. but I really was prepared to fail and accept it and try again. Maybe it's because of that outlook, that I didn't.
I tried not to put so much pressure on myself, but there was a lot counting on it all working out so I just did it, and tried not to think so much into it.
That was on the 19th of august, and today is september 9th... and today the husband bought me my first vehicle. hehe.. sounds funny.. I'm not exactly a teenager...and this is my first vehicle.
When I was first looking at cars like 12 years ago, I had my heart set on a '76 Monte Carlo... black with red velvet interior and red running lights. lol... it's funny how times change,
because I really had my heart set on a minivan this time. :P
It's a '94 Safari XT.. it's actually just old enough to be cute and yet new enough to not be a total piece of shit. hehe I really like it... and the interior is blue...( my fav color) it looks pretty good .. and the husband says it runs really well, and it's an all wheel drive so that's cool for Minnesota. :)
Doing daycare, I needed something that I could fit our four kids ...and 3 more into for getting them to and from school each morning. I'm really excited about it, it's going to be weird not having to ask for rides or having to try to count on anyone else for getting to me where I need to be. The husband is proud of me and that makes me feel a million miles tall.
The boys started school the day after labor day, they love it. Babygirl starts headstart on Monday the 12th. The whole process of getting them to and from was quite interesting for this first week. With help from my mom and sister we made it through. They really were a big help. Beginning monday, I'll be dropping off my boys at their school, and then taking Babygirl across the street to headstart. Then I have to go home to my empty house, until the bus drops her off just after one.
Mom, my aunt and I have been having morning coffee just about every morning... I'll have to keep doing that. I don't like the idea of sitting home alone...after 9 years of motherhood ... my heart just can't handle the idea of an empty house already.
I know it's only for the two and half hours that Babygirl's in headstart, but still...
the silence in this big house is going to be an painful reminder that they're all growing up so fast.
I think that, as much as I can, I'm going to volunteer in her classroom so that she and I (...probably mostly I )...can cope a little better with this separation. I think that as soon as I know that she's gonna be ok..that I'll be able to enjoy the little bit of freedom that this will bring me, without so much anxiety. Wish me luck!
posted by Shade Darkwolff at 8:50 PM
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