You say Easter, I say Ostara

My uncle's wife.. hmm my aunt I guess huh?.. hehe was talking about having gone to an easter vigil. She's lutherun.. (I don't know how to spell it) .. anyway, and she said it was very interesting since she had never been to one before. She said they go before sunrise, they all sit in the dark with each person holding a lit candle watching for the sun to rise. When it does, they turn on the light and all sing and chant and celebrate. She's very religious and definately would not be open to hearing about my beliefs, but if she were.. I thought how interesting that they don't realize the connection to the pagan belief of our goddess giving birth to our god symbolized by the sun... and that we celebrate Ostara around the same time as easter as the beginning of new life with the whole resurrection bit. It's crazy to me that it's even still denied. I mean lutherun's can accept catholics... but I guess we're just too different? hehe. ;) (The virgin goddess Diana is symbolized by the rabbit, the egg is a symbol of fertility and new life, the sun is the symbol of our god.) You call it easter, I call it Ostara. :D

Crazy week

Even though today is sunday.. and technically the first day of the week for some, I'm hoping it's the end of a very hectic week for me.

Monday the 10th I donated plasma for the second time ever. It hurt a little more than the first time, but I attribute that to my choice to use the same arm only two days after doing it the first time. Later that night I had the worst heartburn that I've had since being pregnant with my first son. I don't think it had anything to do with the plasma thing but, I had to lay down it was so bad. The nausea was the worst.

It was my husband's 30th birthday though, so I tried to fake my way through a nice dinner out. I had to excuse myself and get sick in the restaurant bathroom, that wasn't pretty. He felt bad for me when he realized, but I said I'll be fine and I actually was... for awhile anyway. We made it to walmart... got some feeder fish for his oscars then went home. While we were away, the kids (with the help of my sister who was sitting) baked him a cake and wrapped presents for him. It was so sweet. We all sang and then watched him open presents. :D

On tuesday the 11th I had jury duty.. blahh! I thankfully was dismissed, due to the fact that I have to transport my kids to and from school everyday, because we live on the other side of town and the bus doesn't run that far. There was no one else that could do it for me. The case was a criminal one. Rape... and attempted rape. My god, I don't think I could have done that.

On wednesday the 12th I had a cousin come into town, she spent the night at my place. She's early teens so it was interesting having her.

On the evening of thursday the 13th we decided that it was finally warm and dry enough to pull the kids' bikes out of storage. We worked and worked with our oldest and by supper time that boy was riding a two wheeler by himself for the first time in his little life. We grilled out that night..

...as we were getting things ready the girlfriend of another of my cousins called. She told me she thought she was going into labor, since she believed her water had broken... I was the labor coach, so I had to keep near the phone. She called again later and verified that yes it was her water, so off to the hospital I went.

I spent the night of the 13th in a fold-out chair.. well.. two hours of it anyway...and the rest keeping a close eye on her. She delivered her beautiful son at 3:44pm on friday the 14th, both mom and baby are doing well. He's perfect and I can't wait to see him again!

The next day saturday the 15th was scheduled to be my two oldest boys' birthday party... around 30-35 people in my house.. that I cooked for. It was crazy. My gorgeous boys had a great time and got exactly what they both wanted which was a very rare priviledge for me to be able to do for them.

I now have a very happy video game junkie... not restrained by wires... and an aspiring rock star with a shiny new electric guitar and enough amplifier power to blow the roof off. Two of my cousins decided to stay over, I dyed some hair.. black for his.. and some of mine. :) I've got purple again.. purdy!

Today was sunday the 16th Easter, and since my extended family does a get together for dinner we decided to attend. The kids hunted eggs in our backyard and collected their treats, then we went to my uncle's place and had a great dinner.. menudo, tamales.. so much food .. and it was all sooo good! Lots of people, mostly little ones... it was a good time. :) Now I'm just glad that the kids don't have school tomorrow, so I don't have to get up early.. but then again, it would be so nice to have a little quiet in the house after that mad crazy week. Ahh well. There's always nap time. :D

Sept. 9th '05

Some pretty wonderful changes have happened since my last post. On August 26th, we moved into our house.

You can't even begin to imagine how it makes my heart feel to see my kids playing in the yard... "our yard". :D After years of waiting and hoping...we have a house... a real home.

The husband said that he would do his damnest to get us in there, but that in order for it all to work...I couldn't put off getting my license any longer. So I did it... I practiced, and made the appointment...and then took the test all in a month's time.

The kicker for me was that I actually passed. I was so sure I was gonna have to take it more than once. Call it paranoia/self-doubt whatever, I don't know.. but I really was prepared to fail and accept it and try again. Maybe it's because of that outlook, that I didn't.

I tried not to put so much pressure on myself, but there was a lot counting on it all working out so I just did it, and tried not to think so much into it.

That was on the 19th of august, and today is september 9th... and today the husband bought me my first vehicle. hehe.. sounds funny.. I'm not exactly a teenager...and this is my first vehicle.

When I was first looking at cars like 12 years ago, I had my heart set on a '76 Monte Carlo... black with red velvet interior and red running lights. lol... it's funny how times change,
because I really had my heart set on a minivan this time. :P

It's a '94 Safari XT.. it's actually just old enough to be cute and yet new enough to not be a total piece of shit. hehe I really like it... and the interior is blue...( my fav color) it looks pretty good .. and the husband says it runs really well, and it's an all wheel drive so that's cool for Minnesota. :)

Doing daycare, I needed something that I could fit our four kids ...and 3 more into for getting them to and from school each morning. I'm really excited about it, it's going to be weird not having to ask for rides or having to try to count on anyone else for getting to me where I need to be. The husband is proud of me and that makes me feel a million miles tall.

The boys started school the day after labor day, they love it. Babygirl starts headstart on Monday the 12th. The whole process of getting them to and from was quite interesting for this first week. With help from my mom and sister we made it through. They really were a big help. Beginning monday, I'll be dropping off my boys at their school, and then taking Babygirl across the street to headstart. Then I have to go home to my empty house, until the bus drops her off just after one.

Mom, my aunt and I have been having morning coffee just about every morning... I'll have to keep doing that. I don't like the idea of sitting home alone...after 9 years of motherhood ... my heart just can't handle the idea of an empty house already.

I know it's only for the two and half hours that Babygirl's in headstart, but still...
the silence in this big house is going to be an painful reminder that they're all growing up so fast.

I think that, as much as I can, I'm going to volunteer in her classroom so that she and I (...probably mostly I )...can cope a little better with this separation. I think that as soon as I know that she's gonna be ok..that I'll be able to enjoy the little bit of freedom that this will bring me, without so much anxiety. Wish me luck!